Friday, August 8, 2008

A Mass-Murderer's Daily Wish List

Number 162 was faceless.

His Pt Cruiser,

A hideous maroon color,

Was parked too close

And, sardine-like,

I was forced to peel my way

Out of my car tin.


58, 74, and 93

just wouldn’t shut up.


1 was my dog,

whining to go out,

far too early this morning

her bladder ignoring

the three taps of the snooze button.


31 through 55 were all work-related,

like a postal worker’s job-well-done,

I mowed them down

From behind my counter-barricade

And laughed when the authorities

Never received the call.

288 was a slow silent one.

She kept giving me the eye,

Like my face was an annoying anomaly,

Her lids were closed in her final moment.


210 was an auto-fatality,

road rage victim,

their rap music so loud

they never heard

the squeal of my tires

crossing two lanes of traffic

to bring to an end

their joy-ride.


11 was the newscaster,

12 soon followed,

though it was just the voice-over.

13, 14, 15, and 16 were Journey.

Don’t stop believing.

17 came a little later in the day,

my bike ride prolonged

by a slow-moving pedestrian,

left to rot

on the roadside.


199 and 200 were a cute couple,

but they had it coming,

no one should be that happy,

especially around me.


291 was the last,

in the courtyard of the complex,

drunk and happy,

singing loudly,

and then dead.

2 comments:

Ed Vela said...

My latest one was the woman I nearly hit yesterday when she cut me off in traffic. I was turning left onto Trenton from the Shell station. She was scooting across the street from HEB to the Target, where there is no light, without benefit of looking to the left to see if anyone was coming. I stopped abruptly within about a foot of slamming into the side of her car. I jammed on the horn. When it was clear that we had not collided, she then scooted on across with a caca-eating sheepish grin on her face. I proceeded west cursing her the entire way. She's the one who would have been severly injured. Thankfully, neither one of us, or our vehicle were hurt. No thanks to her sorry butt.

Anonymous said...

you dont know me but i believe ive i heard you in ambrosia. im not sure. love your posts. keep em coming.your wife is really pretty. i feel like ive seen her before but im not sure where, maybe UTPA reading?